Who is Jewish? To someone not Jewish this seems like an absurd question. But to someone Jewish, it’s not only valid, it’s one asked over and over again! Some of the “rules” for being Jewish are well known, like the one that says if your mother is Jewish, you are Jewish. Or the one that says you’re Jewish if you’ve had a “proper” Jewish conversion (whatever that means – this specific issue is being hotly debated in Israel). Other rules are debated and contested, like the rule that says if your father is Jewish, you are Jewish – but that rule only applies to liberal, Reform Jews, and comes with the caveat that you must be raised Jewish. This means you’ll need a Jewish education and some other public displays of Judaism in your life, like having a Bar or Bat Mitzvah, or confirmed from Jewish religious school. The situation in Israel is more complex. Their Law of Return states that all those of Jewish ancestry – and their spouses – have the right to settle in Israel. But then they have the complex questions of who is Jewish and sometimes they insist on having you go through an Orthodox conversion just to be on the “safe side” of this issue.
If you’re thinking that this who-is-Jewish stuff doesn’t matter, think about a Jewish family in London, who, a few years ago, tried to enroll their son in the Jewish Free School, a private school that had been founded there, in 1732. The son’s mother had converted to Judaism but the school, which was run by an Orthodox Jewish Board of Trustees, refused to recognize her conversion, either because the conversion was too liberal, or probably, more likely because she had converted after his birth and not before he was born. Thus, when he was born, his mother wasn’t Jewish and therefore, according to the school board, neither was he. And if he wasn’t Jewish, they were not going to allow him to be enrolled in the school.
Because private schools in England are subsidized by the government, the boy’s parents took the case to court – and won. The British Court of Appeals rules that the school’s definition of who is Jewish was wrong, that their admissions policies were unfair, and the boy was indeed Jewish. The school appealed the decision, but the British Supreme Court upheld it. Many in the British Jewish community of 300,000 protested the idea that the government could rule on the religion of a person. The case demonstrated that the who-is-Jewish question matters, even in contemporary times, and that it is difficult to determine, especially today, with all the intermarriage. (It also proves that no answer to the question will ever satisfy everyone, including Jews and non-Jews.)
Answers from Torah
The Book of Genesis (17: 10-14) clearly states that circumcision is part of the Hebrew’s pact with God, and clearly states, too, that if a son is not circumcised, he may be cut off from the Hebrew community:
But a foreskinned male, who does not have the foreskin of his flesh circumcised, that person shall be cut off from his kinspeople – he has violated my covenant!
This sounds pretty definite, if you ask me. Until four books later, in Exodus, when Moses, that patriarch of all patriarchs, that towering, but uncircumcised, by the way, figure of the Torah, fails to circumcise his two sons. Their mother, Zipporah, who was, of course, the wife of Moses, was not Jewish nor had she ever converted. Still, God sends Moses to Egypt to lead the his people out of slavery and bring them back to Canaan, the land God had promised them in the Covenant of Abraham. The Jewishness – or lack of Jewishness – of Moses’ sons is never questioned. (Although Zipporah eventually circumcises Gershon, their eldest son, herself. Clearly, the issue of whether a boy is Jewish if uncircumcised is not clear from this story.
Does a Jewish mother make a person Jewish?
In the Torah, Jewish identity was patrilineal, meaning it came through the father’s line. And many of the patriarchs, including Moses and the sons of Jacob, married women who weren’t Jewish. Yet their children were regarded as being Jewish. Later, Ezar, the Scribe, who was renowned for his knowledge of the Torah, observed that if Jewish men married non-Jewish women, and if their children could be Jewish, there was no incentive for these women to convert to Judaism. However, if Judaism were to become matrilineal, that is, if it were dependent on the mother’s religion, then non-Jewish women marrying Jewish men would have an incentive to convert to Judaism. (I know, this is troubling because Judaism teaches that no one should ever convert for either love for marriage; only because they want to be Jewish for Jewish sake. Go figure.) During the second century C.E., when Jews were living under Roman occupation, Judaism became matrilineal. The shift may have occurred because the identity of a boy’s mother – and therefore her Jewishness – is certain, whereas the identity of his father, before the days of DNA testing, was not. An alternative, or additional reason for matrilineal Jewish descent, may also have been that matrilineal rule was more consistent with Roman law of the day.
Today, both Orthodox and Conservative Judaism accept only matrilineal descent. For them, the only requirement that makes you Jewish is to have a Jewish mother. If the baby of a non-Jewish mother is adopted by a Jewish couple, the baby will need to a formal conversion in order to be Jewish. The child would, about the time of his Bar Mitzvah and age of moral agency, have to make a conscious decision to convert or be converted. In contrast, Reform Judaism will recognize a person as Jewish if only their father is Jewish, but even if their mother is Jewish and their father is not, according the Union of Reform Judaism, the child will require a “Jewish upbringing.” What does that imply? It means that there must be public evidence, such as a Bar Mitzvah or confirmation, or maybe a trip to Israel and Jewish camp or attendance at a Jewish day school – some sign of allegiance to Judaism, in other words, to be considered Jewish.
What is Judaism?
The Encyclopedia Judaica provides this basic definition: Judaism is the “religion, philosophy, and way of life of the Jewish people.” Wikipedia adds: “Judaism, originating in the Hebrew Bible, also known as the Tanakh, and explored in later texts, such as the Talmud, is considered by Jews to be the expression of the covenantal relationship God developed with the Children of Israel.”
What makes someone Jewish?
Merely believing in Judaism or feeling Jewish is not enough to establish Jewish status. Nor is Jewish identity determined purely by the individual – as a matter of personal belief or feeling of attachment to Judaism. One does not become Jewish merely by declaring “I am Jewish,” or I accept the Jewish religion,” explains Rabbi Mark Washofky, in his book, Jewish Living: A Guide to Contemporary Reform Practice. In Reform Judaism, individual rabbis and individual Jews don’t have to follow a set of rules, the way an Orthodox Jewish person is expected to obey halakha – traditional Judaism based on rabbinic literary sources. “Jewishness” is somewhat like citizenship in a political commonwealth, according to Rabbi Washofky. To be a citizen, one must either be a “natural-born” citizen or one must complete the formal process of naturalization – a process defined and governed by the laws of that commonwealth. Thus, the child of one Jewish and one non-Jewish parent may enjoy the presumption of being Jewish, but Jewish status must be established by “appropriate and timely public and formal acts of Jewish identification.”
In 1983, the Central Conference of American Jewish Rabbis (CCAR), the governing body of Reform Judaism, outlined the definition of who is Jewish, based on halakhic tradition, with a modern, liberal spin. Someone is Jewish who:
According to these Reform guidelines, children in interfaith marriages are expected to observe mitzvoth (commandments) that lead them to a positive and exclusive Jewish identity. This means that children born to two Jewish parents are not obligated to prove their Jewish identity but those who have only one Jewish parent are. Moreover, the mitzvot are to be public and formal, such as a Bar Mitzvah or a confirmation, so that their “Jewishness” is demonstrated before other Jewish people. If a child’s parents (note: not if both parents are Jewish; only if one is Jewish) fail to provide a Jewish education and fail to provide public opportunities that demonstrate Jewishness during childhood, then a formal Jewish conversion may be required (by observant Jews or by Israel). In contrast, a very liberal Reform rabbi may welcome the child of an interfaith couple who did not give the child a formal Jewish upbringing. In the United States, at least, it is up to the individual rabbi to set the rules of who is Jewish and who is not.
And what does it mean to be Jewish?
After “what makes someone Jewish” comes the question: “What does it mean to be Jewish?” Indeed, what does it mean to live a Jewish life? Some say Jewish life begins with circumcision, then requires a belief in God, then includes study of Torah, living a righteous life according to Jewish law, and doing tsdakah (good deeds). But many Jewish people believe that you can live a righteous life – and do good deeds – without having to study the Torah, leaving its study, instead, to rabbis and scholars and Jewish people who like to get together on a Saturday morning, at their temple, to discuss the parsha, the Torah portion of the week.
When is enough Judaism enough? Is having a Bar Mitzvah, or a family trip to Israel, Jewish enough? Or, must a son be affiliated with a temple, go to religious school for years, be confirmed, be married under a wedding canopy, and donate to Jewish causes to be Jewish – enough?
Halakha – Jewish law -- is based not just on Torah but also on the Talmud, and on decisions by rabbis. Sometimes, rabbis will have different opinions, or different interpretations of the law. For example, one rabbi may be unwilling to perform a wedding for a couple if one of the partners isn’t Jewish and is unwilling to commit to being Jewish but willing to raise their children Jewish. Another rabbi may perform a wedding for such a couple, or even allow the non-Jewish spouse to recite an aliyah – blessing – at a Torah reading but the first rabbi may not be willing to go that far.
The cultural norm
With circumcision so common in the United States, albeit becoming less common on the West and East Coast and among interfaith couples, for both Jewish and non-Jewish people, circumcision no longer sets a male apart as being Jewish. Tragically, during the Holocaust, a male’s circumcision was indeed a marker for being Jewish and as such, would be a tragic marker that sent him to his untimely death, to a prison camp or to a death camp. Today, however, remaining intact does not set a male apart from Judaism and the Jewish people, even though it is rare among Jewish males. Just look at the Jewish websites, such as Ron Goldman’s, that are devoted to ending the custom. And his is only one of a number that are devoted to active discussion and debate about the custom, In the San Francisco Bay area and elsewhere, where liberal Jewish communities have flourished, some Jewish parents are choosing to leave their sons intact, and the practice has been increasing, especially among couples choosing to have home-births or birth educators and physicians who believe circumcision is wrong.
While it is acceptable for Jewish men to be uncircumcised for medical reasons, for a bleeding disorder, for example, the cultural norm is that the majority of Jewish men – estimates range from 90 to over 95 percent – are circumcised. Many converts to Judaism are circumcised today, even though many have been circumcised earlier, before converting to Judaism, since circumcision has been so common in the U.S. since the late 1800s and especially, since after World War II. While 20 to 25 percent6 of Reform Jewish women, and a smaller, but significant percent of Conservative Jewish women, are marrying non-Jewish men, most of these men have been circumcised for medical or cultural, if not for religious, reasons.
If no one in our society circumcised their sons, except for Jews and Muslims, then circumcision might again be a defining mark of someone Jewish, as it separated Christians from Jewish people in Europe, for nearly 2,000 years. (This is because shortly after Christ died, Christians stopped circumcising either their sons or their converts. Only when circumcision became common for medical reasons did they start circumcising again and then it was for medical not religious reasons. More about that in a future blog, by the way). But in our culture, while circumcision rates are on the decrease, many non-Jewish parents are still having their sons circumcised, as are most couples in interfaith marriages between someone Jewish and someone not Jewish.
Being Jewish and intact (with a foreskin)
Being intact – uncircumcised – because your parents chose to leave you uncircumcised, or because there health issues prevented circumcision, does not “undo” your Jewishness. What does “undo” it is ignorance of Judaism, as may be the case for a child raised with only Jewish parents who doesn’t belong to a temple, observe Judaism in the home (except maybe to get a Ruben on rye bread or have a Hanukkah party).
Consider the case of Madeline Albright, who was Secretary of State during the Clinton presidential administration. Her parents were Jewish and left Europe shortly before the Holocaust, escaping a fate that for many, if not most European Jews, was horrific. Maybe because of the fear of hatred again Jews, maybe for other reasons, they raised her as a Christian. She was even, presumably, ignorant of her Jewish heritage. She had two Jewish parents, but no Jewish education, no participation in Jewish life. Instead she had a Christian upbringing, and identified herself as Christian. Ms. Albright is regarded as Jewish by the Orthodox and Conservative Jews, since she had two Jewish parents. But she is not regarded as Jewish by the majority of U.S. Jewish people, namely Reform Jews and others who constitute more than half of all Jews. For only about 1 in 10 Jewish Americans are Orthodox, about 1 in 4 are Conservative; the rest are Reform, Reconstructionist, Renewal, unaffiliated, or Jew-Bu’s (Jewish Buddhists). (Look, even before reading the book about the Jewish group that visited the Holy Dali Lama, during his exodus from Tibet, when he was living in India and wrote that wonderful book The Jew and the Lotus, I know about Jewish Buddhists, and Jew-Hu’s (Jewish Hindus, I’ll tell that joke about the woman who treks to the Himalayan mountains, to find the guru. When she finally reaches the summit and finds him, she says, “Sheldon, would you come home already???” I know the sense of humor here because I am married to one of them. I married a yoga/mediation teacher who took me to Ceylon and India on my honeymoon, having been raised Jewish but found out he was adopted when he was in college. Oh, did I mention that we also worked on a kibbutz at the beginning of the honeymoon, since he was raised by a Jewish family, who was quite active in Jewish causes, including the founding of Israel. A few years after marrying him, he became truly unique (or meshuganah!) when he got an M.A. in Philosophy and Comparative Religion, then became an interdenominational, but Jewish, minister of a religious group he founded in 1978. Yeah, go figure, as my Jewish grandmother would say. ) And people are confused about Madeline Albright’s background! Wait until they hear my husband’s!
In Jewish tradition, what counts most is whether you live a Jewish life, and that, like many aspects of modern Jewish life, eludes an easy, clear definition, and can be debated almost endlessly!
Interestingly, many Jews believe they can identify another Jewish person when they meet one. It’s called “bageling,” this “knowing” or finding out that the other person is Jewish. Maybe it’s because being Jewish is as much cultural, or ethnic, as it is religious. Jews are a “people” and a religion, but Jews are not just a people, nor are they just a religion. So a person can say “I am Jewish,” but that doesn’t make him or her a member of the tribe. Still, Jews are people who are Jewish, and all Jewish people understand that.
Can you be Jewish and have a foreskin?
Yes. Yes because a health problem, such as a bleeding disorder, could have made your circumcision medically unsafe. If you were born prematurely, or your birth weight was too low, you might not have been circumcised, although you might have been circumcised later, when you were an older and could handle the surgery better. Indeed, as we have said, Jewish law precludes a circumcision – always precludes a circumcision – if there is a health risk.
Here’s the good news – and some qualifications
Circumcision is not an induction into Judaism. Circumcision is, however, a powerful mark of a man’s Jewishness. California-liberal-on-circumcision Rabbi Yeshaia Charles Familant writes, “A Jew is a Jew because of a combination of beliefs and behavior, a combination that does not necessarily entail circumcision. Circumcision does, however, symbolize the bond between a Jewish male and God.” Or, as the online Encyclopedia Judaica explains, “Circumcision is an outward sign of the eternal covenant between God and the Jewish people, and also a sign that the Jewish people will be perpetuated through the circumcised man.”
At times in Jewish history, when circumcision was forbidden by repressive governments, many parents risked their lives to have their sons circumcised. Starting in 1917, when Russia outlawed organized religion, millions of Russian Jews could not safely circumcise their sons – or practice Judaism. Uncircumcised, and often barred from any public worship, those Russian Jews were still considered Jewish. When hundreds of thousands were permitted to leave the Soviet Union, starting in the 1970s and into the 1980s, many of them arranged to have their sons, some of whom were already teenagers, and themselves circumcised, as adults. Yet those who chose not to be circumcised are still considered Jewish.
In contrast to this previous example of moderate and flexible attitudes about the requirement of a circumcision for being Jewish, there are still times and situations when an uncircumcised Jewish man may face some obstacles. In the earlier days of Judaism, uncircumcised males could not participate in certain rituals, such as serving as a priest in the original temples. Even now, Jews who believe in an afterlife say that only circumcised males can be part of that World to Come. In fact, this is the reason that circumcision is often a requirement for burial in a traditional Jewish cemetery. Even stillborn infants are circumcised before burial. That’s because of the belief that uncircumcised males, called arel, in Hebrew, will find no place in the (perfect) World to Come. And exclusion from that world, called kareti, which literally means “cut off from.” Yes, this is ironic in that having your foreskin cut off is a ticket to Jewish heaven but being intact gets you cut off from the place.
Some rabbis will refuse to perform a Bar Mitzvah for an uncircumcised boy (don’t ask how they know but as you may know, keeping secrets from other Jewish people is well, a bit of a challenge). Other rabbis will refuse to perform a wedding under a chupah, the traditional open-sided wedding canopy, for an uncircumcised groom. Again, I don’t know how the rabbi knows who is circumcised and who isn’t unless it is a standard question. Hmmmmmm.
Do converts need to be circumcised?
The Reform Jewish movement’s Central Conference of American Rabbis elected to do away with “initiatory rites” – such as circumcision or immersion in a mikveh – for converts. Today, therefore, adult males with Reform or other liberal rabbis converting them are not necessarily required to be circumcised, although some rabbis prefer that they be circumcised. Even if they are already circumcised, no convert will have had a bris, so many rabbis will ask for a ritual pricking to draw the blood that marks the sealing of the covenant.
Orthodox and Conservative rabbis require adult men and adopted children born to non-Jewish mothers, who are already circumcised and converting to Judaism to have that ritual pricking, called a hatafat dam. As explained, it is actually a prick of the skin that draws a symbolic drop or two of blood. Most liberal rabbis do not require the procedure, but some do. Nor is it usually required of infants who are circumcised in the hospital but still having a Hebrew naming, although some rabbis, mainly Orthodox and Conservative again, will require a hatafat dam ritual pricking to draw blood.
As also mentioned previously, no one is ever supposed to convert to Judaism because they are in love with a Jewish person, or are planning on marrying a Jewish person, or are already married and think being Jewish will help them fit into the Jewish family better. The only legitimate reason for converting to Judaism is the wish to live life as Jews, and be part of the Jewish people. Actually, even this alone is insufficient for converting to Judaism. For a person desiring to convert must study – with a rabbi – and must learn about the practices of Judaism. Only when the rabbi deems the student ready, can the student of Judaism proceed with a formal conversion to Judaism, by an ordained rabbi. On the other hand, what is not required, not be most Reform and liberal rabbis doing conversions, is a circumcision, though as we stated earlier, individual rabbis differ in their practice of this.
Who is Jewish, by the rules
The traditional rule still stands, that it is a Jewish parent’s responsibility to circumcise a son. If the parent fails or cannot, the Jewish community may take on the responsibility, or the son, himself, is supposed to get himself circumcised – before his Bar Mitzvah or before his marriage. But in liberal Judaism, the rules are not as rigid as in less liberal branches, which include the Orthodox, Chabad, and some Conservative congregations.
One thing is for sure – if your son is born to two Jewish parents – and is circumcised at a bris, no one is likely to question his Jewishness.
If your son has a Jewish mother, the less liberal branches will consider him Jewish, even without a circumcision, although they will, as already explained, expect him to get himself circumcised when he is old enough to make the decision.
If your son has a Jewish father and a non-Jewish mother, but has a circumcision, at a bris, if he also has a Bar Mitzvah, receives a Jewish education, perhaps in religious school on Sundays, perhaps at a Jewish day school, if he marries a Jews, no one – except perhaps a rabbi in Israel or your Orthodox cousin – will question his Jewishness.
If your son has one Jewish parent, especially if that parent is the father, is circumcised in the hospital without a bris, ritual prayers or a Hebrew naming, if he never goes to religious school, then his children are likely to be. . .Christian, or so an old joke goes. Yes, today, that joke would include atheist, agnostic, Muslim, or Buddhist in the punch line.
If your son has one Jewish parent, no circumcision, some Jewish education, and maybe a Bar Mitzvah, he will be Jewish – in the eyes of some, but not in the eyes of others. And for those, his lack of a circumcision may well be the determining factor.
Are the rules fair?
Is it fair that someone who is born to Jewish parents but never lights Shabbat candles, never goes to temple, and never recites a Hebrew blessing can be considered Jewish, while someone else who lights Shabbat candles, goes to temple regularly, knows some Hebrew blessings and prayers, but was not born to a Jewish mother, or was adopted but never formally converted to Judaism, is not Jewish? Fair, yes, because the person who wants to be Jewish faces no obstacles except the formality of studying to convert, then going through a formal conversion. Judaism is not an exclusive club that doesn’t allow new members. A new member can join – it’s just that joining requires a formal initiation.
Undoing Jewishness
A Jewish person can renounce their Judaism to the point where he or she is regarded as an apostate – a Jew who deserves to be excluded from the Jewish community. (Happened to the philosopher Spinoza, by the way.) Even for an apostate, who incidentally, remains technically at least, Jewish, a return to the Jewish community is not viewed as a conversion back to Judaism. This is because “once a Jew; always a Jew.” That is, unless a person publicly defames Judaism, and is formally excommunicated by the leaders in his or her Jewish community. This is very rare, of course, but as already mentioned, did happen to philosopher Spinoza.
Ensuring that your son will be Jewish
Here is an informal list of suggestions of Jewish mitzvot and traditions that may help to establish a Jewish identity – for an intact, uncircumcised Jewish male child:
If you do these things, few people will care about your son’s penis not “looking Jewish.” And if they do – or he does – it will be his responsibility – and his choice, later, to remove what your decided to leave on.
If you’re thinking that this who-is-Jewish stuff doesn’t matter, think about a Jewish family in London, who, a few years ago, tried to enroll their son in the Jewish Free School, a private school that had been founded there, in 1732. The son’s mother had converted to Judaism but the school, which was run by an Orthodox Jewish Board of Trustees, refused to recognize her conversion, either because the conversion was too liberal, or probably, more likely because she had converted after his birth and not before he was born. Thus, when he was born, his mother wasn’t Jewish and therefore, according to the school board, neither was he. And if he wasn’t Jewish, they were not going to allow him to be enrolled in the school.
Because private schools in England are subsidized by the government, the boy’s parents took the case to court – and won. The British Court of Appeals rules that the school’s definition of who is Jewish was wrong, that their admissions policies were unfair, and the boy was indeed Jewish. The school appealed the decision, but the British Supreme Court upheld it. Many in the British Jewish community of 300,000 protested the idea that the government could rule on the religion of a person. The case demonstrated that the who-is-Jewish question matters, even in contemporary times, and that it is difficult to determine, especially today, with all the intermarriage. (It also proves that no answer to the question will ever satisfy everyone, including Jews and non-Jews.)
Answers from Torah
The Book of Genesis (17: 10-14) clearly states that circumcision is part of the Hebrew’s pact with God, and clearly states, too, that if a son is not circumcised, he may be cut off from the Hebrew community:
But a foreskinned male, who does not have the foreskin of his flesh circumcised, that person shall be cut off from his kinspeople – he has violated my covenant!
This sounds pretty definite, if you ask me. Until four books later, in Exodus, when Moses, that patriarch of all patriarchs, that towering, but uncircumcised, by the way, figure of the Torah, fails to circumcise his two sons. Their mother, Zipporah, who was, of course, the wife of Moses, was not Jewish nor had she ever converted. Still, God sends Moses to Egypt to lead the his people out of slavery and bring them back to Canaan, the land God had promised them in the Covenant of Abraham. The Jewishness – or lack of Jewishness – of Moses’ sons is never questioned. (Although Zipporah eventually circumcises Gershon, their eldest son, herself. Clearly, the issue of whether a boy is Jewish if uncircumcised is not clear from this story.
Does a Jewish mother make a person Jewish?
In the Torah, Jewish identity was patrilineal, meaning it came through the father’s line. And many of the patriarchs, including Moses and the sons of Jacob, married women who weren’t Jewish. Yet their children were regarded as being Jewish. Later, Ezar, the Scribe, who was renowned for his knowledge of the Torah, observed that if Jewish men married non-Jewish women, and if their children could be Jewish, there was no incentive for these women to convert to Judaism. However, if Judaism were to become matrilineal, that is, if it were dependent on the mother’s religion, then non-Jewish women marrying Jewish men would have an incentive to convert to Judaism. (I know, this is troubling because Judaism teaches that no one should ever convert for either love for marriage; only because they want to be Jewish for Jewish sake. Go figure.) During the second century C.E., when Jews were living under Roman occupation, Judaism became matrilineal. The shift may have occurred because the identity of a boy’s mother – and therefore her Jewishness – is certain, whereas the identity of his father, before the days of DNA testing, was not. An alternative, or additional reason for matrilineal Jewish descent, may also have been that matrilineal rule was more consistent with Roman law of the day.
Today, both Orthodox and Conservative Judaism accept only matrilineal descent. For them, the only requirement that makes you Jewish is to have a Jewish mother. If the baby of a non-Jewish mother is adopted by a Jewish couple, the baby will need to a formal conversion in order to be Jewish. The child would, about the time of his Bar Mitzvah and age of moral agency, have to make a conscious decision to convert or be converted. In contrast, Reform Judaism will recognize a person as Jewish if only their father is Jewish, but even if their mother is Jewish and their father is not, according the Union of Reform Judaism, the child will require a “Jewish upbringing.” What does that imply? It means that there must be public evidence, such as a Bar Mitzvah or confirmation, or maybe a trip to Israel and Jewish camp or attendance at a Jewish day school – some sign of allegiance to Judaism, in other words, to be considered Jewish.
What is Judaism?
The Encyclopedia Judaica provides this basic definition: Judaism is the “religion, philosophy, and way of life of the Jewish people.” Wikipedia adds: “Judaism, originating in the Hebrew Bible, also known as the Tanakh, and explored in later texts, such as the Talmud, is considered by Jews to be the expression of the covenantal relationship God developed with the Children of Israel.”
What makes someone Jewish?
Merely believing in Judaism or feeling Jewish is not enough to establish Jewish status. Nor is Jewish identity determined purely by the individual – as a matter of personal belief or feeling of attachment to Judaism. One does not become Jewish merely by declaring “I am Jewish,” or I accept the Jewish religion,” explains Rabbi Mark Washofky, in his book, Jewish Living: A Guide to Contemporary Reform Practice. In Reform Judaism, individual rabbis and individual Jews don’t have to follow a set of rules, the way an Orthodox Jewish person is expected to obey halakha – traditional Judaism based on rabbinic literary sources. “Jewishness” is somewhat like citizenship in a political commonwealth, according to Rabbi Washofky. To be a citizen, one must either be a “natural-born” citizen or one must complete the formal process of naturalization – a process defined and governed by the laws of that commonwealth. Thus, the child of one Jewish and one non-Jewish parent may enjoy the presumption of being Jewish, but Jewish status must be established by “appropriate and timely public and formal acts of Jewish identification.”
In 1983, the Central Conference of American Jewish Rabbis (CCAR), the governing body of Reform Judaism, outlined the definition of who is Jewish, based on halakhic tradition, with a modern, liberal spin. Someone is Jewish who:
- if male, has entered in the covenant of circumcision.
- has acquired a Hebrew name.
- studies Torah.
- has a Bar or Bat Mitzvah.
- has been confirmed.
- has performed public acts that affirm his or her Jewish identity.
According to these Reform guidelines, children in interfaith marriages are expected to observe mitzvoth (commandments) that lead them to a positive and exclusive Jewish identity. This means that children born to two Jewish parents are not obligated to prove their Jewish identity but those who have only one Jewish parent are. Moreover, the mitzvot are to be public and formal, such as a Bar Mitzvah or a confirmation, so that their “Jewishness” is demonstrated before other Jewish people. If a child’s parents (note: not if both parents are Jewish; only if one is Jewish) fail to provide a Jewish education and fail to provide public opportunities that demonstrate Jewishness during childhood, then a formal Jewish conversion may be required (by observant Jews or by Israel). In contrast, a very liberal Reform rabbi may welcome the child of an interfaith couple who did not give the child a formal Jewish upbringing. In the United States, at least, it is up to the individual rabbi to set the rules of who is Jewish and who is not.
And what does it mean to be Jewish?
After “what makes someone Jewish” comes the question: “What does it mean to be Jewish?” Indeed, what does it mean to live a Jewish life? Some say Jewish life begins with circumcision, then requires a belief in God, then includes study of Torah, living a righteous life according to Jewish law, and doing tsdakah (good deeds). But many Jewish people believe that you can live a righteous life – and do good deeds – without having to study the Torah, leaving its study, instead, to rabbis and scholars and Jewish people who like to get together on a Saturday morning, at their temple, to discuss the parsha, the Torah portion of the week.
When is enough Judaism enough? Is having a Bar Mitzvah, or a family trip to Israel, Jewish enough? Or, must a son be affiliated with a temple, go to religious school for years, be confirmed, be married under a wedding canopy, and donate to Jewish causes to be Jewish – enough?
Halakha – Jewish law -- is based not just on Torah but also on the Talmud, and on decisions by rabbis. Sometimes, rabbis will have different opinions, or different interpretations of the law. For example, one rabbi may be unwilling to perform a wedding for a couple if one of the partners isn’t Jewish and is unwilling to commit to being Jewish but willing to raise their children Jewish. Another rabbi may perform a wedding for such a couple, or even allow the non-Jewish spouse to recite an aliyah – blessing – at a Torah reading but the first rabbi may not be willing to go that far.
The cultural norm
With circumcision so common in the United States, albeit becoming less common on the West and East Coast and among interfaith couples, for both Jewish and non-Jewish people, circumcision no longer sets a male apart as being Jewish. Tragically, during the Holocaust, a male’s circumcision was indeed a marker for being Jewish and as such, would be a tragic marker that sent him to his untimely death, to a prison camp or to a death camp. Today, however, remaining intact does not set a male apart from Judaism and the Jewish people, even though it is rare among Jewish males. Just look at the Jewish websites, such as Ron Goldman’s, that are devoted to ending the custom. And his is only one of a number that are devoted to active discussion and debate about the custom, In the San Francisco Bay area and elsewhere, where liberal Jewish communities have flourished, some Jewish parents are choosing to leave their sons intact, and the practice has been increasing, especially among couples choosing to have home-births or birth educators and physicians who believe circumcision is wrong.
While it is acceptable for Jewish men to be uncircumcised for medical reasons, for a bleeding disorder, for example, the cultural norm is that the majority of Jewish men – estimates range from 90 to over 95 percent – are circumcised. Many converts to Judaism are circumcised today, even though many have been circumcised earlier, before converting to Judaism, since circumcision has been so common in the U.S. since the late 1800s and especially, since after World War II. While 20 to 25 percent6 of Reform Jewish women, and a smaller, but significant percent of Conservative Jewish women, are marrying non-Jewish men, most of these men have been circumcised for medical or cultural, if not for religious, reasons.
If no one in our society circumcised their sons, except for Jews and Muslims, then circumcision might again be a defining mark of someone Jewish, as it separated Christians from Jewish people in Europe, for nearly 2,000 years. (This is because shortly after Christ died, Christians stopped circumcising either their sons or their converts. Only when circumcision became common for medical reasons did they start circumcising again and then it was for medical not religious reasons. More about that in a future blog, by the way). But in our culture, while circumcision rates are on the decrease, many non-Jewish parents are still having their sons circumcised, as are most couples in interfaith marriages between someone Jewish and someone not Jewish.
Being Jewish and intact (with a foreskin)
Being intact – uncircumcised – because your parents chose to leave you uncircumcised, or because there health issues prevented circumcision, does not “undo” your Jewishness. What does “undo” it is ignorance of Judaism, as may be the case for a child raised with only Jewish parents who doesn’t belong to a temple, observe Judaism in the home (except maybe to get a Ruben on rye bread or have a Hanukkah party).
Consider the case of Madeline Albright, who was Secretary of State during the Clinton presidential administration. Her parents were Jewish and left Europe shortly before the Holocaust, escaping a fate that for many, if not most European Jews, was horrific. Maybe because of the fear of hatred again Jews, maybe for other reasons, they raised her as a Christian. She was even, presumably, ignorant of her Jewish heritage. She had two Jewish parents, but no Jewish education, no participation in Jewish life. Instead she had a Christian upbringing, and identified herself as Christian. Ms. Albright is regarded as Jewish by the Orthodox and Conservative Jews, since she had two Jewish parents. But she is not regarded as Jewish by the majority of U.S. Jewish people, namely Reform Jews and others who constitute more than half of all Jews. For only about 1 in 10 Jewish Americans are Orthodox, about 1 in 4 are Conservative; the rest are Reform, Reconstructionist, Renewal, unaffiliated, or Jew-Bu’s (Jewish Buddhists). (Look, even before reading the book about the Jewish group that visited the Holy Dali Lama, during his exodus from Tibet, when he was living in India and wrote that wonderful book The Jew and the Lotus, I know about Jewish Buddhists, and Jew-Hu’s (Jewish Hindus, I’ll tell that joke about the woman who treks to the Himalayan mountains, to find the guru. When she finally reaches the summit and finds him, she says, “Sheldon, would you come home already???” I know the sense of humor here because I am married to one of them. I married a yoga/mediation teacher who took me to Ceylon and India on my honeymoon, having been raised Jewish but found out he was adopted when he was in college. Oh, did I mention that we also worked on a kibbutz at the beginning of the honeymoon, since he was raised by a Jewish family, who was quite active in Jewish causes, including the founding of Israel. A few years after marrying him, he became truly unique (or meshuganah!) when he got an M.A. in Philosophy and Comparative Religion, then became an interdenominational, but Jewish, minister of a religious group he founded in 1978. Yeah, go figure, as my Jewish grandmother would say. ) And people are confused about Madeline Albright’s background! Wait until they hear my husband’s!
In Jewish tradition, what counts most is whether you live a Jewish life, and that, like many aspects of modern Jewish life, eludes an easy, clear definition, and can be debated almost endlessly!
Interestingly, many Jews believe they can identify another Jewish person when they meet one. It’s called “bageling,” this “knowing” or finding out that the other person is Jewish. Maybe it’s because being Jewish is as much cultural, or ethnic, as it is religious. Jews are a “people” and a religion, but Jews are not just a people, nor are they just a religion. So a person can say “I am Jewish,” but that doesn’t make him or her a member of the tribe. Still, Jews are people who are Jewish, and all Jewish people understand that.
Can you be Jewish and have a foreskin?
Yes. Yes because a health problem, such as a bleeding disorder, could have made your circumcision medically unsafe. If you were born prematurely, or your birth weight was too low, you might not have been circumcised, although you might have been circumcised later, when you were an older and could handle the surgery better. Indeed, as we have said, Jewish law precludes a circumcision – always precludes a circumcision – if there is a health risk.
Here’s the good news – and some qualifications
Circumcision is not an induction into Judaism. Circumcision is, however, a powerful mark of a man’s Jewishness. California-liberal-on-circumcision Rabbi Yeshaia Charles Familant writes, “A Jew is a Jew because of a combination of beliefs and behavior, a combination that does not necessarily entail circumcision. Circumcision does, however, symbolize the bond between a Jewish male and God.” Or, as the online Encyclopedia Judaica explains, “Circumcision is an outward sign of the eternal covenant between God and the Jewish people, and also a sign that the Jewish people will be perpetuated through the circumcised man.”
At times in Jewish history, when circumcision was forbidden by repressive governments, many parents risked their lives to have their sons circumcised. Starting in 1917, when Russia outlawed organized religion, millions of Russian Jews could not safely circumcise their sons – or practice Judaism. Uncircumcised, and often barred from any public worship, those Russian Jews were still considered Jewish. When hundreds of thousands were permitted to leave the Soviet Union, starting in the 1970s and into the 1980s, many of them arranged to have their sons, some of whom were already teenagers, and themselves circumcised, as adults. Yet those who chose not to be circumcised are still considered Jewish.
In contrast to this previous example of moderate and flexible attitudes about the requirement of a circumcision for being Jewish, there are still times and situations when an uncircumcised Jewish man may face some obstacles. In the earlier days of Judaism, uncircumcised males could not participate in certain rituals, such as serving as a priest in the original temples. Even now, Jews who believe in an afterlife say that only circumcised males can be part of that World to Come. In fact, this is the reason that circumcision is often a requirement for burial in a traditional Jewish cemetery. Even stillborn infants are circumcised before burial. That’s because of the belief that uncircumcised males, called arel, in Hebrew, will find no place in the (perfect) World to Come. And exclusion from that world, called kareti, which literally means “cut off from.” Yes, this is ironic in that having your foreskin cut off is a ticket to Jewish heaven but being intact gets you cut off from the place.
Some rabbis will refuse to perform a Bar Mitzvah for an uncircumcised boy (don’t ask how they know but as you may know, keeping secrets from other Jewish people is well, a bit of a challenge). Other rabbis will refuse to perform a wedding under a chupah, the traditional open-sided wedding canopy, for an uncircumcised groom. Again, I don’t know how the rabbi knows who is circumcised and who isn’t unless it is a standard question. Hmmmmmm.
Do converts need to be circumcised?
The Reform Jewish movement’s Central Conference of American Rabbis elected to do away with “initiatory rites” – such as circumcision or immersion in a mikveh – for converts. Today, therefore, adult males with Reform or other liberal rabbis converting them are not necessarily required to be circumcised, although some rabbis prefer that they be circumcised. Even if they are already circumcised, no convert will have had a bris, so many rabbis will ask for a ritual pricking to draw the blood that marks the sealing of the covenant.
Orthodox and Conservative rabbis require adult men and adopted children born to non-Jewish mothers, who are already circumcised and converting to Judaism to have that ritual pricking, called a hatafat dam. As explained, it is actually a prick of the skin that draws a symbolic drop or two of blood. Most liberal rabbis do not require the procedure, but some do. Nor is it usually required of infants who are circumcised in the hospital but still having a Hebrew naming, although some rabbis, mainly Orthodox and Conservative again, will require a hatafat dam ritual pricking to draw blood.
As also mentioned previously, no one is ever supposed to convert to Judaism because they are in love with a Jewish person, or are planning on marrying a Jewish person, or are already married and think being Jewish will help them fit into the Jewish family better. The only legitimate reason for converting to Judaism is the wish to live life as Jews, and be part of the Jewish people. Actually, even this alone is insufficient for converting to Judaism. For a person desiring to convert must study – with a rabbi – and must learn about the practices of Judaism. Only when the rabbi deems the student ready, can the student of Judaism proceed with a formal conversion to Judaism, by an ordained rabbi. On the other hand, what is not required, not be most Reform and liberal rabbis doing conversions, is a circumcision, though as we stated earlier, individual rabbis differ in their practice of this.
Who is Jewish, by the rules
The traditional rule still stands, that it is a Jewish parent’s responsibility to circumcise a son. If the parent fails or cannot, the Jewish community may take on the responsibility, or the son, himself, is supposed to get himself circumcised – before his Bar Mitzvah or before his marriage. But in liberal Judaism, the rules are not as rigid as in less liberal branches, which include the Orthodox, Chabad, and some Conservative congregations.
One thing is for sure – if your son is born to two Jewish parents – and is circumcised at a bris, no one is likely to question his Jewishness.
If your son has a Jewish mother, the less liberal branches will consider him Jewish, even without a circumcision, although they will, as already explained, expect him to get himself circumcised when he is old enough to make the decision.
If your son has a Jewish father and a non-Jewish mother, but has a circumcision, at a bris, if he also has a Bar Mitzvah, receives a Jewish education, perhaps in religious school on Sundays, perhaps at a Jewish day school, if he marries a Jews, no one – except perhaps a rabbi in Israel or your Orthodox cousin – will question his Jewishness.
If your son has one Jewish parent, especially if that parent is the father, is circumcised in the hospital without a bris, ritual prayers or a Hebrew naming, if he never goes to religious school, then his children are likely to be. . .Christian, or so an old joke goes. Yes, today, that joke would include atheist, agnostic, Muslim, or Buddhist in the punch line.
If your son has one Jewish parent, no circumcision, some Jewish education, and maybe a Bar Mitzvah, he will be Jewish – in the eyes of some, but not in the eyes of others. And for those, his lack of a circumcision may well be the determining factor.
Are the rules fair?
Is it fair that someone who is born to Jewish parents but never lights Shabbat candles, never goes to temple, and never recites a Hebrew blessing can be considered Jewish, while someone else who lights Shabbat candles, goes to temple regularly, knows some Hebrew blessings and prayers, but was not born to a Jewish mother, or was adopted but never formally converted to Judaism, is not Jewish? Fair, yes, because the person who wants to be Jewish faces no obstacles except the formality of studying to convert, then going through a formal conversion. Judaism is not an exclusive club that doesn’t allow new members. A new member can join – it’s just that joining requires a formal initiation.
Undoing Jewishness
A Jewish person can renounce their Judaism to the point where he or she is regarded as an apostate – a Jew who deserves to be excluded from the Jewish community. (Happened to the philosopher Spinoza, by the way.) Even for an apostate, who incidentally, remains technically at least, Jewish, a return to the Jewish community is not viewed as a conversion back to Judaism. This is because “once a Jew; always a Jew.” That is, unless a person publicly defames Judaism, and is formally excommunicated by the leaders in his or her Jewish community. This is very rare, of course, but as already mentioned, did happen to philosopher Spinoza.
Ensuring that your son will be Jewish
Here is an informal list of suggestions of Jewish mitzvot and traditions that may help to establish a Jewish identity – for an intact, uncircumcised Jewish male child:
- Place a mezuzah on your doors, then teach your son to use it on entering.
- Light Shabbat candles and say blessings on Friday nights.
- Serve challah French toast, matzo ball soup, and other traditional Eastern European Jewish foods.
- Use Yiddish expressions, such as nuknik, oy vey, shlemeil, shlemazel, and kibbutz
- Cook a Passover Seder, or be sure to take him to one.
- Light Hanukkah candles, and celebrate the holiday – without a Christmas tree!
- Use a Kiddush cup for wine on Sabbath and the holy days.
- Attend service on the High Holy Days, and fast on Yom Kippur.
- Send him to Jewish day or overnight camp, and religious school.
- Send him on a group trip to Israel, such as Birthright, or take there yourself.
- Teach him to appreciate the teachings of the Torah, and encourage him to watch www.G-dcast.com on his computer or smart phone.
If you do these things, few people will care about your son’s penis not “looking Jewish.” And if they do – or he does – it will be his responsibility – and his choice, later, to remove what your decided to leave on.
